Bhavesh's Tryst

Little poems & notes created to break the mudane

Saturday, March 24, 2012

 

Gujju - Dis one's Brilliant Ever !!!!!

 

Dedicated to all GUJJU's

 

Gujju Tips - Typical Gujju features

 

1.      You have an uncle who tells you his contact number is chaar so be ogan syt ekaavan - 4025951

2.      Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is our kaka.

3.      We never go to office, we go to HOFFIS!

4.      The first rule of money - never use your own!

5.      "Su nava juni" is our version of wassup?

6.      be it seven in the morning or 1 am, ganthiya is always welcome.

7.      We are all a fan of Dakshaben aka Ketaki Dave's "Ararararara...."

8.      We keep an "ELARAM" to wake up in the morning

9.      No party is over without a round of GARBA

10.  We all love golas, but ice creams have a special place in our hearts (and in our fridges as well)

11.  We call all types of noodles "Meggi"!!!

12.  We someone asks about a person, we say GENTLEMAN MANAS 6!

13.  "Shaanti rakh ne loi peeno!" is our best possible slang

14.  We don't know any place in the workd called Delhi, apde to bas DILLI aj javanu!

15.  We have a PhD in bargaining by birth..

16.  We can speak any language of the world in Gujarati!

17.  We don't have feelings, we have FILLINGS!!!

18.  Jai Shri Krishan = Hello and Aavjo = Good bye

19.  Generally our conversations begin with kem 6, maja ma ne, and end with, koi saaru investment batavo ne...

20.  We shout our voice out on international calls, thinking they can hear us better that way

21.  A gujju would have business on his mind from the time he turns 18 - bahu badha paisa kamavana 6...

22.  Swimming is not for us - we  call it chhabchhabiya.

23.  For us electricity never goes - only light does!!!!

24.  We don't call people, we COAL them

25.  Next time someone irritates you, you say TEL PEEVA JA

26.  Sensex interests us more than anything else.

27.  Chhas is our beer!

28.  We are everywhere, all over the globe - deal with it...

29.  We go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments

30.  Ideal gujju mom's phone book's last page has - agarwal modiwado, ajanta hotel (sunday saat vagya laginej order le 6e), gupta chikki, jyotsanaben nu tiffin, gas book maate, kaaki ni kaamvaari, patel gadlawado, madhuben - mahila mandal, maro mobile number...

31.  Towel = tooval

32.  Every gujju will introduce their spouse as aa mara mr 6, ne aa mari mrs 6...

33.  Mount abu is switzerland

34.  Mihir virani is our charlie sheen

35.  Exam aave 6, beta notes JEROX karavanu bhoolto nai...

36.  If a gujju starts coffee with karan, he would name it as "chhas with chhagan"

37.  Boomer is not chewing gum, it is chiggum.

38.  A true gujju looks forward to eat thai, mexican, italian, chinese and undhiyu at the cousin's wedding...

39.  If u r a true gujju then your phone will have atleast ten contacts ending in the word BHAI.

40.  If u dnt like jalebi-fafda, u r nt a true gujju.

41.  Being punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being mallu means less chapati, more rice. Being gujju - just eat more yaar, shu farak pade 6.

42.  Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything - from hair style to nation's progress

43.  Vile Parle and NEw Jersey feels like home - Apduj 6...

44.  We will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupees free gifts, free ma male, etle maja aavi jai

45.  We eat home made theplas with chhundo and athanu in business class flight

46.  We can do garba on any song in the world

47.  Falguni Pathak is britney spears for us

48.  After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, we make sure we ask for extra puri, and then discount

49.  Order soup 1/2, u get more quantity - be smart

50.  If its beg, edible and free, go on dude, eat it...

51.  Bombay+Gujarat+London+ America = whole world, nothing else exists for us

52.  Everyone is invited to a gujju home for lunch, and fed lyk u hv come from the groom's side.

53.  If all of a sudden u hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that you are amidst gujjus

54.  Hindi humko jara b nahi faata hai

55.  15 or 50, ur parents will always refer to u as their baby or babo

56.  Gujjus dnt knw wht chocolate is, they only knw CATBURY

57.  If u dnt watch tarak mehta ka oolta chashmah u r nt a gujju yaar

58.  Ultimate gujju gift - a 'cover' (envelope) with 500+1 in it

59.  We tk constitution very seriously, everybody is called bhai and ben

60 1.  If u do not go for navratri, u dnt exist

62.  Mango is not our national fruit only kesar n haphus is

63.  Dnt b disheartened if u dnt make it to a top B-school, if u r a gujju, thn business is in ur blood

64.  We all own Reliance... (No further comments or xplanations needed!)

65.  U find something gud n say "BAHU FINE 6!"

66.  'Pope' Music mast hoy 6

67.  We can talk about share markets, anywhere, anytime, no problem

68.  U xpect a discount at dollar store if u r a gujju

69.  U consider spongebob as dhokla, u r gujju

70.  Dandiya is our prom

71.  Packing according to a 5 night 6 day holiday whn going for a one day picnic

72.  Time spent at a party - dancing (10 minutes), chitchat (10 minutes), dinner (100 minutes)

73.  'Sanedo' is our Dance Anthem, if you are not on the dance floor when it plays, you are not a Gujju.

 


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